You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.

-indira ghandi


My insomnia eats away at me most nights.
Thoughts infiltrate my head and i just watch the night pass me by right into the early dawn.
Sometimes I just can't believe what is ACTUALLY in front of me...
and if my stupidity blinds me enough...what is in front of me slips away because I let it.
I have fought too hard for this to just watch it drift away like every good thing that has come into my life.
Why do I do it to myself?
Do I honestly believe that I am not deserving of it?
That I am destined for something less?

Honestly, I will not let myself this time. It would be far more than a detriment to my mind and body that I could possibly grasp.
Honestly, will never know and I have to stop questioning it.
It is NOT worth it anymore to put myself through pointless questions.
I could never go back to what I had before...and I refuse, absolutely refuse, to let go of what is before me.

Would I ever have made it this far without the push from my parents?
No.

Personally, I would like to thank them for what they have offered me in my life. I am truly blessed to have such levelheaded, strong-willed people surrounding me. I am even more blessed because they saw what I deserved...
and because of that... the best thing I will ever know is love.

Oh, and if you're wondering? You gave up a great thing.
Something honest, simple and beautiful.
And all for what?
Because you were unsure?
That truly goes to show how unmeasurable your immaturity is.



And the truth is that it is not a battle that we are supposed to fight with fists clenched tight...
It is only won with words greater than those spoken with pure abstraction.